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The Thanksgiving break is a perfect time to reconnect with your student — especially if this is the first time they’ve been home since the start of the fall semester. Keeping the lines of communication open with your college student is key to nurturing a good relationship. But e-mails, texts and phone calls can be weak lines of communication during a busy semester. So take advantage of the face-to-face time you have with your student during this holiday break by having the following conversations:

Relationships
Ask about the important relationships in your student’s life: roommates, new friends, old friends, romantic interests. Be prepared for your student to not want to share too much information in this area, and respect their need for privacy. But let them know that you’re here to listen.

Finances
Go over your student’s budget for the semester, and identify areas of overspending and ways to save. If they have scholarships, encourage them to write a follow-up letter to the committee or individual who granted him money and share how his semester went. Draft up a new budget with them for the spring, taking into account any revisions that need to be made on the last budget. If they have a job, talk about how that has affected the other areas of their life.

Growth
Ask your student how they have grown since summer. Gaining independence is an ongoing process, and you might have good opportunities to offer advice on gaining balance in their life. Lead with open-ended questions, like “What are some strengths you have that became apparent this last semester?” and “What are you proud of since you started college?” and “How are you different now than you were one year ago?”

Challenges
Make sure your student understands that failure and weakness is a part of growth and gaining independence. Encourage them to talk openly about where they have fallen short as well. Ask questions like, “What was difficult for you this last semester?” and “What’s a mistake you’ve made that taught you a good lesson?” and “What challenges do you already know you face when you go back to school?”

Academics
Of course, you can’t talk about college without bringing up classes and grades. Ask your student to share their semester grades with you, but also ask about what they have learned in their classes and what interested them about certain subjects. Make sure they know you’re proud of them, and if you have concerns about their performance, share that as well.